Roy’s Takeaways from Week 1

I’m late on getting this out, but week 1 is officially in the books. It was an interesting round of games to say the least. Here are a few scoring takeaways from the past weekend.

  • 11 games were decided by 7 points or less. 3 of those games were decided by just 1 point.
  • There were just three blowouts, games decided by at least 2 touchdowns.
  • The home team won just 7 out of the 16 games.
  • 7 teams scored at least 30 points:  Chiefs, Raiders, Saints, Buccaneers, Lions, Colts, and Steelers.
  • 9 teams scored less than 20 points:  Bears, Bills, Ravens, Browns, Titans, Dolphins, Seahawks, Cowboys, Rams


Cleveland is Quarterback Purgatory

If you ever get drafted by Cleveland as a quarterback, or even if you are offered a free agent contract to go there, the best idea is to run the other way as fast as humanly possible. Don’t stop running until you’ve reached the nearest coast. Then hop on a really fast boat and keep going until you’ve reached a tropical island where you can assume a new identity and sell coconut water on the beach for the rest of your days.

After the whole Manziel debacle of a year ago, this was supposed to be a new era for the Browns. They pried Hue Jackson away from the Bengals to be their head coach. They signed the much-maligned RG3 from Washington (he evidently couldn’t run away fast enough). They took the field in Philadelphia on Sunday full of vim and vigor. And then this happened. Yes, RG3 didn’t slide as he should’ve, and now he is on injured reserve with a shoulder injury.

He has already had knee injuries while at Baylor and Washington, now he is out again. This is just another page in the book of Cleveland’s cursed sports history. Backup Josh McCown will once again have to step in. He must be wondering why they don’t just give him the starting job at the beginning, since he’s always eventually there anyway.

Fantasy implications: This might actually be good for Gary Barnidge, as it was last season. However, I’m staying away from Corey Coleman, Terrell Pryor, Duke Johnson, and Isaiah Crowell.

Saints may Score a Million points this season

If you are a fantasy owner of Drew Brees, Brandin Cooks, Willie Snead, or Michael Thomas, then you are sitting very pretty. The Saints lost a shootout to Oakland on Sunday, 35-34. Despite the loss, Brees threw for 424 yards, 4 touchdowns, and no interceptions. He attempted 42 passes. Brees kept his receivers Snead (9-172-1), Cooks (6-143-2), and Thomas (6-58) very busy all day long. This included a 98-yard touchdown to Cooks.

The Saints defense stinks. They were horrible last year and they haven’t improved. Brees will be forced to throw the ball a lot, and he has plenty of weapons. When they are playing at home, you absolutely have to start Brees. When they are away, you have to check the matchup. I wouldn’t recommend starting him on the road at Carolina for example.

However, if the weather is decent, and he’s not going against a top defense, Brees is a must start. As are Cooks and Snead. The rookie Thomas is one to stash and see how his role develops throughout the season.  At running back, Ingram should have a solid year as well. The Saints dropped C.J. Spiller, so Ingram will get the bulk of the carries. The only hesitation is whether or not the Saints will have cause to run the ball much.

The Seahawks and their 12th Man….LOL

Seattle squawked, I mean squeaked out a victory over the Dolphins on Sunday in front of their home crowd. Apparently the dorkwad 12th men were just barely loud enough. The Hawks won 12-10, thanks to a 2-yard pass from Russell (cheeseball) Wilson to Doug (inferiority complex) Baldwin with 31 seconds left.

Seattle had more possession, first downs, and total yards, yet they only won by 2 points at home! This against a team that finished 6-10 a year ago, last in their division. And lets not forget they had to travel about 5 million miles to the land of Starbucks and hipsters to play this game. Lets also not forget that Ryan Tannehill is their starting quarterback and Arian Foster is their starting running back.

Nothing about the Seahawks performance was impressive. Absolutely nothing. As a matter of fact, they looked like a big old pile of steaming dog doo. I’m sure they will turn it around, but for now, I’m not buying into any of these guys.

Andrew Luck is Healthy…….for now

The Colts opened up with a 39-35 loss to the Lions at home. They scored plenty of points, but allowed Matthew Stafford and company to drive down and kick a game-winning field goal with 4 seconds left. I guess the biggest takeaway from this game is that both defenses are absolutely abysmal.

After that, we can look at Andrew Luck’s performance. Luck threw for 385 yards, 4 touchdowns, and no interceptions. He found 8 different receivers. He was only sacked twice. That’s the key for Luck this season. The Colts defense won’t be able to stop anybody, so he will likely be playing from behind a lot. Last year he got knocked out. Indy drafted Ryan Kelly to play center, they also drafted La’Raven Clark to fill in at tackle.

If Luck has time, he can pick apart a defense. However, if the line fails to protect, as they often do, Luck is in for another beating. Indy travels to Denver this weekend. We all know how brutal the Broncos defense can be. If Luck survives this game, it would be a minor miracle. I’d be shocked if he doesn’t get knocked out at some point. If it doesn’t happen this weekend, then it’s just a matter of time.

The Steelers are Impressive

Pittsburgh pounded on the Redskins, 38-16, on Monday night. DeAngelo Williams, at 33 years of age, ran for 143 yds. and 2 touchdowns. Antonio Brown caught 8 passes for 126 yards and 2 touchdowns. Eli Rogers had 59 yards and a td. Big Ben finished with 300 yards and 3 scores. It was a beat down. Many experts have picked the Steelers to be in the Super Bowl.

The Steelers defense is young, particularly in the secondary. They are only going to get better. The offense will score 25-30 points a game. Nobody can guard Antonio Brown, and Roethlisberger continues to perform at an elite level. Yes, they are missing Le’veon Bell, but Williams had more rushing yards than any back in week 1. Yes, they are missing Martavis Bryant, but Rogers, Markus Wheaton, and Sammie Coates are more than capable of picking up the slack.

Bell will be back in week 4. Brown may actually be looking towards 2,000 yards receiving this season. The Steelers will lose a game here or there, but they are head and shoulders above most AFC teams. They are facing the Bengals this week. The Bengals have employed some dirty tactics in the past. Look for Pitt to exact some big time revenge. Start your Steelers.

Bill Belichick is the most Evil Genius Ever

So the Patriots traveled to Phoenix to take on the Cardinals Sunday Night. I think a lot of people, including myself, were anxious to see the Patriots take a beating. I mean, they were playing on the road without Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski. The Cardinals are an up and coming power. No way they could lose right! WRONG!!!

Enter Bill Belichick. The most annoying, droll, trollish, boorish, villainous head coach that has ever existed in this universe. Oh, I guess I didn’t mention that he’s a freaking genius! This guy just wins. He game plans. He doesn’t always have superstars, but he gets the most out of every player. He puts them in the right positions and he generally calls all the right plays. And it pisses me off to no end!

I’ve been watching Narcos on Netflix, and I’m beginning to think that Belichick is a lot like Pablo Escobar. Escobar used the threat of violence to control people. I’m pretty sure Belichick is doing the same thing. I bet he threatens to eliminate their families if they don’t perform adequately. I mean, even Aaron Hernandez decided to just kill people and go to prison rather than face the wrath of Belichick.

The Patriots are just so impressive week after week, even though they probably cheat a lot. I guess Garoppolo is a decent start, as well as Edelman and Blount. They should be all good this week when the Dolphins come to town.

There’s a lot more out there, but have to cut this down. Will throw more up later on. Specifically more fantasy advice. Thanks to those of you who read.

Header image based on “Drew Brees” by Brook Ward (CC BY-NC 2.0)





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